But I Do
by jesse's ferryboats
Summary: Arizona and Amelia will never be friends, which is why the brunette's ulterior motive behind excluding Arizona from her wedding makes no sense.
1. Chapter 1

Arizona Robbins and Amelia Shepherd would never be friends. Sure, they were close, but 'friends' could never describe them in a way that could do the pair justice. Amelia hadn't only saved her mentor, but she had saved her when nobody else could. She became dependent on Amelia the way she became dependent on Callie, which quite frankly scared her half to death. She knew, though, that although the neurosurgeon had a bit of a God complex, she could be broken. She knew if Herman's surgery had failed, Amelia wouldn't come back from it. And, if it worked, she'd never be able to repay the brunette, but she'd sure as hell be trying for the rest of her life.

So, when the neurosurgeon saved her mentor, she stepped up. She started trying to make up for the people the brunette had lost. This became an occupation for Arizona. She fell so far in that when Owen Hunt ended it the first time, it was almost natural for her to step into the hole he left.

It started with subtle flirting while Arizona tested the waters. Subtle flirting turned not so subtle, and for one night she became the person she was before Callie.

But for Amelia, this version of Arizona seemed all too familiar. She knew the woman wouldn't purposefully hurt her, but she also knew she wouldn't notice if she did. Her blue eyes brought back a thousand memories from days that could vary between better or worse, dependent upon the sole factor of her sobriety. She couldn't slip again, especially at the hands of the beautiful, headstrong blonde. Amelia was always a runner, so she did just that; and when Arizona woke up in an empty bed, she knew exactly what had happened.

They got good at avoiding each other. They made Blake do the dirty work between them, like teenagers fighting over the football captain. Amelia had fixed things with Owen, or at least she had tried. The two were as good as they were ever going to get; Owen was buying a house and before she had even realized she'd done it, she'd proposed.

She'd proposed, and then she left. She wasn't one to stay and celebrate when she knew she had just brought a gun to a knife fight.

Arizona had started to cope. She was taking on risky surgeries which only increased her adrenaline, and in the downtime, she was spending every minute with Sofia. Blake had been put on Grey's service for the length until she was to leave for New York, but they pulled DeLuca into her position quite quickly.

DeLuca was pulled in between them both, which is why it didn't surprise Arizona when he got an invitation to the Shepherd-Hunt marriage. You know, besides the fact that there would be one.

It came in the mail one day. After putting Sofia down for the night, Arizona bawled for the first time since she nearly lost the girl. She normally would call someone, but she's lost it all.

Normally, she'd have called Callie, but Callie and her would never be the same again. Alex was in surgery, DeLuca was passed out on the couch, and Amelia was probably consumating the marriage ahead of time. Once upon a time, she would have called Tim. Just the thought of him brought her back into the downwards spiral.

Meanwhile, Amelia sat on the couch in Owen's house. Their house, actually. Their house, that they were living in. Their house where they would spend the rest of their lives together. All she could think of were blue eyes that looked her up and down in dismay. She shouldn't have invited DeLuca. She shouldn't be getting married, really, but since when was she prone to good decisions.

She shouldn't be getting married because her father wouldn't be there to walk her down the aisle. She shouldn't be getting married because her brother was dead and he was always the one who showed. She shouldn't be getting married because she and Owen both knew that Amelia had done something that couldn't be fixed, but the best compromise they could come up with was to avoid the topic.

Avoiding the topic had its glitches, one of which was DeLuca's invitation.

Avoiding the topic also had another glitch- avoiding Arizona until the wedding, because if she saw those eyes she'd have to run all over again.


	2. Chapter 2

Arizona had mostly given up on Amelia. She did her best to avoid her at work, but on the off chance she couldn't she sat it out, and beared in mind that it's obvious the brunette had gotten over her at record speed. She stopped bringing DeLuca between the two, and spent most of her time missing her daughter. She didn't get out much, besides to get drinks with Alex a couple of times when high-profile patients were released from the hospital.

She was back to square one, really. She was the same person she was almost ten years ago, when everything was shiny and new. Everything had a bit of an archaic feel now, even herself. She wasn't the same bubbly blonde that kissed girls in dirty bar bathrooms. She was a mother without a child most of the time, and all she could think of is how before, the tiny humans she saved everyday would have been enough. Come to think of it, she hadn't lost a child since she had slept with the brunette, besides her own. She wished she could hold her daughter every night, and in light of recent events, she felt terrible to say it, but she wished she could be holding Amelia, too.

Callie kept up her end of the deal. She called nightly and gave the phone to Sofia. She was taking dance classes in New York, and had made friends with the kids next door. She was due to start school in the fall, and Callie was sure that second grade was going to be the year Sofia's "super-smart awesome gifted little brain" was going to start to stand out. Arizona was psyched for her daughter, but something didn't seem fair that she could only watch on her phone screen as her baby grew up.

Meanwhile, Penny was working most of the time, but her and Callie were getting serious. Apparently, the wedding, when it happened, would be in Seattle. In the meantime, Callie and her girlfriend would be coming back for Owen and Amelia's wedding. Arizona offered a place for her daughter to stay during the ceremony, but Zola had requested that Sof took the title of "Flower Girl" with her for the wedding, and Callie approved without thinking twice. She promised that she'd bring Sofia over right after though, a plan which Arizona knew would probably fall through, and really had no option but to cope with in the comfort of her couch.

If there was ever a time for Amelia to miss Derek, it was now. The rehearsal dinner had seemed ridiculous, especially without the rest of her family, but Derek was supposed to be there no matter what happened. Derek was supposed to give a toast, to one of his best friends and his youngest sister; Meredith was supposed to be sitting on his other side, smiling up at him.

Amy was surprised when DeLuca RSVP-ed to the wedding, especially after hearing that Callie and Sof were going to be flying in. She figured he would have stayed to at least try and comfort Arizona, but the young intern probably didn't even realize what had been happening without him.

She left a seat open at the dinner table for Derek. Riggs was invited last minute, and took the spot. The irony of it all made her sick.

Wedding day had come and gone, without a wedding. They had planned for an outdoor wedding, and almost seemingly by an act of fate, it stormed. They booked an indoor wedding this time, for the following weekend. Bailey had made sure to give everyone the day off, leaving Arizona to man the peds ward.

It was so wrong to her. She could wish and wish all she wanted that the wedding wouldn't happen, but they would find a way around any obstacle. They were a strong couple, and it showed through this, but all Arizona wanted was for Amelia to stare face to face with her and realize the feelings never left.

The blonde got pictures that night, of her daughter all dressed up by Maggie with her basket of flower petals and a big grin on her face.

Arizona had her first bad outcome in weeks. She crashed in an on-call room that night. She couldn't sleep in the same house as the two people she wanted to love but wasn't sure how to.


End file.
